Some of you doubting Lex Luthors have harbored thoughts that the Dr. Desire Superheroine KO and Capture Kits and weapons product line are less than advertised. Here is a testimonial from a completely new, up and coming criminal who used one of my kits. The letter and photographs were lengthy so I broke them up into 5 entries. His beaming testimonial underscores our company policy, "The only good superheroine is a knocked out cold superheroine." Happy reading!
Dear Dr. Desire,
I am a new "super" criminal called The GEEK. Well, I think it's important to be honest with yourself. Anyway I got the Complete Mid-Level Superheroine Kit and I wanted to write this testimonial to tell you how it worked for me.
You know the kit includes; a two week use of one of your decoy hideouts, one of 5 different traps to choose from and a set up superheroine proof dungeon for my own hideout, complete with restraints.
I have a thing for electricity, so I picked the Dr. Desire Hyperion-Zeuz-4 Electro Wall Trap, self-calibrating and complete with carbo-tanium, intella-cords and carbo-tanium electrode spikes. It took a week to install, your follow the numbers instructions were invaluable.
I took a 3 lb marble and dusted it with Cesium 168, a radioactive material which is a waste product of atomic explosions. The powerful gamma rays would set off any detector, but not hurt anyone. I had it packaged in lead (a dead givaway) and delivered to the mayor of XXXXXX with a note saying that I had the power to spread chaos, destruction and pandimonium throughout the city if a billion dollars in unregistered gold bullion was not paid to me. I did NOT say I had a bomb but, you know politicians. Knowing that major metropolitan municipalities now check packages for radiation and that the idiots cannot tell the difference between Cesium or Plutonium, I delighted when my little package set off a wave of politically hyped hysterium and a plea for superpowered help.
The call was answered by the particularly scrumptious, and powerful superheroine, Iron Woman. She falls within the category listed in your manual, though in the highest echelon, as suseptible to the Hyperion-Zeus Trap. There was an asterik by her name and the letters "ft", which, at the time I did not understand, but later the meaning became clear. You may want to clarify that point.
Using your subtle tips and the supplied police information, Iron Woman soon tracked me to your decoy dungeon. Flying at an incredible speed, she blasted a hole through the secret entrance, two feet of reinforced steel being no obstruction to the busty super beauty. I could not breath, she stood, holding the Cesium marble in her hand looking for ME. My secret ceiling camera shows you her just after she broke. Her power Iron Mask hiding her secret identity and feeding her incredible amount of power, while protecting her perfect body. Punches from Supergirl or Wonder Woman would annoy her. Yet I was planning on putting her lights out and taking her as my helpless captive. So incredibly beautiful and in a short while she would be in MY POWER!!! I hoped. I began to perspire."
"Iron Woman spent about two hours investiging rooms, blasting down a few select walls and doors with her drop dead gorgeous body questioning, then knocking out, the two dozen Dr. Desire rent-a-thugs that were hired from a Presidential work grant (sorry, no more politics). They had no idea who I was or what was up. I just wish she would have stopped asking them "Who the hell is The GEEK?" I mean, Jeeze! I'm trying to make a name for myself. Anyway she finally knocked down the door to the "nerve center" where the Hyperion-Zeus-4 Electro Trap was installed, looking like a part of the wall, across from the huge desk. Her tight blue super-spandex French cut leotard stretched mightily as she stood before the desk, her fists resting on her hips, her big, firm breasts giving the super-spandex a run for it's money as they thrust forward. On cue, I pressed the lift button and the floor opened up and I rose from the floor,seated in the big, executive chair, behind the desk.
I just HATE it when they start laughing when they see me. Not just superheroines, ANY authority. My therapist says we'll deal with those feelings later.
She was laughing so hard that she leaned against the back wall. "YOU are threatening to create chaos and anarchy?!" she gasped, holding her shapely belly as she bent over in hysterics. Her beautiful beasts shaking in a very distracting manner. Her legs buckled, it was a pleasure to see her almost helpless. Almost helpless.
"Hell hath no fury, like a GEEK laughed at!", I paraphrased in a high tenor voice. With that I pressed button 1 or the 2 button remote. 1 labeled "Trap" and button 2 labeled "Superheroine Finisher" (such easy instructions!).
In a second, five thick grey carbo-tanium cords whipped out of the wall, lights flashed within the cords and along the wall outlining the trap. These intella-cords looked "fuzzy" and I noticed they were fur covered. Gosh, Dr. Desire, you think of EVERYTHING! In an instant the intella-cords wrapped themselves around each gorgeous limb and around Iron Womans waist and neck. Both above and below her large, firm and proud breasts. I heard a loud double TANG!! as two very shiny, short but heavy pointed cables drove into, attaching themselves to the heavy Iron Mask, around the area of the temples. Two seconds later, with lights flashing and micro-supercomputers analyzing her inviting body chemistry and neural output and response, the cords slid themselves to areas where Iron Woman would have the greatest strength, adjusting their tension and density. The Iron clad head on the playmate body did not even notice these additions as she looked around and she laughed a very short dismissive laugh and began to throw her massive power against the cords with the intent of breaking free and throttling my skinny neck. Her buxom body taut with extreme exhertion, her thighs spread and straining. Her amazing chest pressing against the intella-cords with super magnified power, her breasts looking superhuman in beauty. This was a moment of destiny for me. I was REALLY nervous if this trap of yours, Dr. Desire would fail. "
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